The Ministry of Health requires all such sites to carry the following text:

Prolonged exposure to a lack of pretty pictures and razzle-dazzle eye candy may result in a severe condition known as graphics withdrawl syndrome.

If you encounter any of the following distressing symptoms:

• Lack of disorientation and vertigo
• Annoyingly rapid loading of pages
• Utilization of long-dormant high school skills such as reading
• In severe cases, resumption of cognitive mental activity