The characters Xena and Gabrielle, (owned by Renaissance Pictures/MCA) are used herein strictly for non-profit purposes of parody and satire. No infringement is intended.

1. Sunrise at the campsite.

New spring leaves are budding on the trees. A wide angle view of Gabrielle and Xena on opposite sides of the screen as they pack their belongings. Xena, a black wool cloak wrapped around her, is fastening Argo's saddlebags, while Gabrielle, already carrying her staff and shoulder bag, stomps out the embers of the fire . In the foreground, the patterned blanket lies folded on a log. Obviously unlike the usual coarse wool or cotton seen in archaic Greece, it is four-layer fine woven silk: on one side, white dominates with Phoenician purple, pale red, and black triangles. On the other, Phoenician purple dominates.

Gabrielle (mid-sentence) . . . told you, it was just a dream. (more perky) So yes, I got enough rest. You?

Xena (as cheerful as Xena gets) I slept fine. Come on, or you'll miss seeing it.

Xena gets on Argo and starts to ride off down a path.

Gabrielle (calling out, hurrying, puzzled) Seeing what?

Gabrielle, following Xena, snatches up the patterned blanket in passing. She wears a jade wedding ring.

Gabrielle (continued) (by-the-way tone) The fire's dead.

Dissolve to:

2. Scenic panorama.

Shot from a height looking north, uphill, at a big rolling meadow (narrow but at least a couple of km long), bounded by forest, sloping upward in the distance ahead to steep, sparsely forested rocky slopes, in turn topped by a flat, treeless plateau dissected by several streams. Dew on the new, ungrazed Ireland-green grass. Everything is lit with early morning sunlight (the kind that tells you that the world is good and that today everything is possible).

Xena (off screen) That's what.

Cut to:

3. Closeup of Gabrielle's face.

Deep sadness, close to depression. Far more than mere mourning for a dead boy she barely knew, this is profound self-doubt and loss of center. The outgoing, happy Gabrielle who Xena prayed would not be lost to her is not gone, but she is really thoroughly lost. Life holds no color for her now. Silence as she walks along, camera following. Then

Gabrielle (not caring, but knows she should be) It's nice.

Xena (off screen) Nice?

Camera pulls back as Gabrielle looks to Xena to deliver the next line, revealing the two of them (with Xena riding Argo) in the landscape. As she speaks, Gabrielle reaches out and rests her hand on Xena's thigh as they continue along.

Gabrielle (quietly apologetic) Thank you for showing it to me.

They continue in silence, then,

Gabrielle (with an obvious effort at normalcy) So why are we taking this long detour? We could have gotten to Theodorus's gang and done them in already if we'd taken the road.

Xena shoots Gabrielle a sharp look at the words "done them in." Gabrielle doesn't see it.

Xena He'll be watching the roads. (pause) Besides, you don't often get a chance to see land like this, no people, no sheep. I thought . . . (groping) It's worth seeing, maybe worth a poem.

A moment of silence, then Gabrielle drops her hand and steps away from Xena.

Gabrielle (bitter) Poor little Gabrielle, how can we help her feel better. Let's show her something pretty to make her happy. (mean) Did you come here to write poetry after Lyceus died?

An intake of breath from Xena, then silence. Xena begins urging Argo toward the nearer forest bordering the meadow. Gabrielle stops briefly, then follows slowly.

Dissolve to:

4. Path at forest edge.

From the path's edge, the camera looks down a wide but overgrown trail. On one side is forest, on the other, beyond a thin screen of trees and brush, is another view of the meadow of the previous shot. Gabrielle and Xena, walking beside each other, are heading up the path, passing the camera, which pans to follow them. Argo walks beside and behind Xena. Low branches brush the horse's ears.

Gabrielle (mid-sentence) . . . stupid of me. I'm sorry.

Xena puts an arm around Gabrielle's shoulders.

Xena I didn't mean to sound. . . (quietly) I'm worried about you.

Gabrielle I'm fine.

Xena raises an eyebrow at her.

Gabrielle All right, but I *will* be fine. She tried to --
(hesitates, then tries again) She took my --
(gives up, starts over) It's all upside-down and wrongside- out, and I need time before I can make sense of me again.

They come to a particularly low and large branch. Gabrielle and Xena duck under it, but Argo shies back from it and Xena has to stop and coax the horse. Gabrielle turns and walks backwards so she can keep talking.

Gabrielle (continuing) I mean, you didn't just turn from sacking villages to defending them overnight, did you? There's a turned around life if there ever was one. But after a while you managed to make sense of it again --of who and what and why Xena is.

In the middle of this speech,

Cut to:

5. Xena, the branch, and Argo in closeup

Xena waits, eyes closed, for Gabrielle to finish.

Xena (facing Argo) (aloud) No, it wasn't overnight for me either. (to herself, whispering) And but for you, I would have died first.

Stooping underneath the branch, Xena guides Argo around and under it. Standing up, she wipes at her eye with her palm. The camera precedes her as in a few strides she catches up with Gabrielle. They walk up the trail side-by-side, the camera backing up before them.

Xena (voice steady) Would telling me the nightmare help you make sense of who Gabrielle is?

Gabrielle Why?

Xena (lightly) Well, a few weeks ago I was hearing about all your dreams every day, even the bad ones. (quickly, before Gabrielle can interject) I thought it was the most annoying thing, but now (groping) it's part of what you are to me.

Gabrielle stops and looks at Xena, who is looking at her. Eye contact. Gabrielle puts her arm around Xena and draws her close. After a brief hug, Gabrielle pulls away and they start walking again, holding hands.

Gabrielle Not much of a nightmare, really. Just (groping) *reliving* what happened when she came to Poteideia, fought you, and then -- you know it. More a memory than a dream.

Xena (knows she's been lied to) Must not have been all that bad.

Gabrielle (knows she hasn't been believed) Not really, no.

Silence. No eye contact. But they're still holding hands.

Wipe to:

6. Omitted.

7. Leader's troops, as seen by Gabrielle and Xena.

Looking past some out of focus branches on a small, soccer-field sized offshoot of the meadow, surrounded on three sides by forest. The grass is pretty thoroughly trampled down. About 24 foot soldiers are using the place for sparring practice, while two officers on horseback, Lieutenant and Leader, ride about correcting mistakes and giving advice. The soldiers are significantly less scuzzy and more, well, disciplined than your typical band of thugs. They're all wearing the usual classical armor: leather shirt and skirt, bronze breastplate, bracers and greaves, some with helmets and shields. There has been an obvious effort to arm and equip them in a uniform fashion, but it falls short, as if the money ran out. The most uniform thing about them is their colored armbands -- in several different colors and combinations of colors to designate teams, but all with the same symbol on them. Something about the way they are practicing looks familiar. Aside from the archaic weapons, it's almost like watching a group of modern boot camp marine recruits at drill. The camera is skirting the field at a brisk walk.

[Foley: swords clashing, relatively little shouting. Faintly audible, the officers ad lib a mixture of drill sergeant and sports coach.]

Gabrielle (off screen) (whispering) What are they doing here? I mean, the nearest village is more than a day away.

Xena (off screen) (whispering) I don't know, and I don't like it, but Theodorus's gang comes first. You (hesitates) we both need to finish that. (pause) We go around. Get up with me. They may have seen us.

The camera (Gabrielle and Xena's POV) pauses, then resumes skirting the field at a horse's trot.

Silence for a time.

Gabrielle (off screen) (surprised) Is that a woman?

As usual, the troops are a multiracial cast. But there is one group of three women among them as well. No leather and chainmail bikinis, please. Like the men, these women are in full armor, their hair cut short or tied back. Their armbands are red. Suddenly Lieutenant points directly at the camera, and speaks to Leader.

Xena (off screen) (urgently) Yes. (to Argo) Faster girl. Hyah!

Cut to:

8. The two officers watching Gabrielle and Xena.

Up close, Lieutenant is big, young and fit. In addition to a sword strapped to his back, the butt of a lance is balanced in a cup built into his stirrup. Another cup is mounted on his breastplate. Leader is short, thin, a pale, sharp-faced man, clean-shaven, with graying black hair, in the process of losing his muscles and gaining a paunch. He is close to the least heavily armed person there with just a sword and stiletto. In the distance, at the edge of the field, partially screened from view by scrub, Gabrielle and Xena are riding Argo at a trot, which turns into a gallop.

Lieutenant (pointing) There sir. A warrior and a civilian. What shall we do with them?

Leader Good eye, lieutenant. (truism) No witnesses. Unhorse them, then (pause) have the red team dispatch them, for drill. (afterthought, magnanimous) Bury them with coins for the ferryman.

With a "sir!" Lieutenant grabs his lance and spurs his horse into a gallop, waving the team of three red-armbanded women soldiers to follow him.

9. Obligatory over-the-top fight scene.

No attempt to describe all the cinematography here (It's too long already). The following is an overview.

Xena sees Lieutenant coming.

Xena (to Gabrielle) Jump off!

Gabrielle (protesting) We're still moving!

Slowing just enough to turn, Xena pushes Gabrielle off of Argo and throws her staff to her.

Xena (to Gabrielle) Keep out of this! The path heads into the woods again just ahead. I'll meet you on it.

These instructions are shouted over her shoulder as, without stopping, Xena gallops into the field to meet Lieutenant. She doesn't draw her sword, and sits up rather straight in the saddle, presenting a nice target.

--A cut looking along Lieutenant's lance, its point aimed right at the center of Xena's chest above her armor.

At the last possible instant, Lieutenant shifts aim from Xena to Argo. At the same time, Xena leans over to avoid being skewered and grabs at the shaft just behind the head. Momentary chaos as the two horses nearly run into each other, then Lieutenant's horse brakes to avoid colliding with Argo, and Lieutenant goes airborne as Xena, holding one end of the lance, levers him from his saddle.

But because of the shift in his aim, something went awry, and the lance left a small, freely bleeding cut just below Xena's eye, and a similar gash on Argo's neck. Xena puts her hand to her face, then sees what's happened to Argo.

Xena (angry) Playtime's over.

[Grahms: Xena theme/battle music.]

She flips the lance so the business end is pointing forward, spurs Argo into a gallop, and ululates her battle cry.

The three approaching women soldiers hear and recognize that battle cry. They pause, share a glance, and hit the dirt. Argo gallops over them. The woman in the middle opens her eyes and sees that Argo left a hoofprint just centimeters from her head. Scared witless, she closes her eyes.

We have rarely seen Xena this angry. She's not trying to kill, but she's not all that concerned if some of her opponents die. She quickly decimates Leader's troops. In seconds, half are left lying in the dirt, either kicked by Xena, scythed down by big sweeps of the lance, bonked by the chakram, trampled by Argo, or too scared at how close they came to being trampled to move. Several more run away.

Xena tries to overtake two soldiers who are running into the woods. Just short of the trees, the slower one throws himself down into a low spot, then pops back up with his sword out when Argo is almost on top of him.

--A *very* brief cut of a sword aiming for Argo's hip.

Argo rears, and her back foot slips in a patch of mud. She falls. Xena jumps clear in the nick of time, lands on her feet but slips in the same mud. It's hard to tell if she has twisted her ankle or not. She turns the slip into a roll, drawing her sword, and stabs up beneath the skirt of the pop-up soldier. He gasps in shock, falls. Xena stands; the very tip of her sword has a tiny bit of blood on it. The other soldier attacks, and Xena coolly parries and jabs him in a pressure point. He collapses, screaming in agony. Xena looks around.

At the far end of the field, Gabrielle, disobedient as usual, is out in the open holding two soldiers at bay. Two more are near Xena, but the rest are down or running. Argo (wise horse) has left the scene of conflict.

[Foley: approaching hoofbeats.]

Lieutenant, back on his horse, sword drawn, is galloping toward Xena. Xena sheaths her sword and, ululating, runs to meet him with a shuffling gait. She launches into a spectacular Tae Kwon Do high kick, up over the horse's head, her boot hitting Lieutenant in the chest, and he goes flying again. He lands on a boulder and is still. Xena lands on her feet, and yes, her ankle is twisted.

The last two soldiers approach her warily, swords drawn. These guys are *good*. They attack as a coordinated team, and Xena is limping, not as agile as she usually is. For once, she is on the defensive.

[Grahms: the music segues to something more dark and sinister, like "The Gauntlet" (8).]

10. Obligatory battle scene, continued.

Still not complete cinematography, but a little more detailed as we get to the high-adrenaline part.

--Xena is facing the two bad guys and the camera. In the course of a parry, she spins full circle, and nearly falters, then goes on the attack. She shouts a warning to Gabrielle.

--Focus shifts past Xena, and there on the far side of the field is Leader, sword in hand, casually riding toward Gabrielle, who is down to one opponent.

--Zoom past Xena to close on Gabrielle, as she *finally* bashes the sword out of her last opponent's hands and gets ready to whack him alongside the head. She hears the warning, looks up.

Cut to
--Another angle on Gabrielle and Leader, riding up behind her. Standing in his stirrups, raising his sword up and back over his head, he aims a big, heavy, overhanded blow at Gabrielle. She parries, but her staff falls from her numbed hands and she almost forced to her knees. Her bandage has been knocked off somehow and blood begins to trickle from the reopened scab on her forehead. She looks up at Leader (scared but trying to be like Xena and not show it); he smiles down at her as he raises his sword for another humungeous blow just like the first. (NOTE: the production he makes of it both times should be exactly the same, so we get the impression that this is the _only_ attack he knows).

Cut to
--Xena, who throws caution completely to the winds. She parries one bad guy and shoves him in the chest so he stumbles back a couple meters. At the same time she kicks the other one with her bad foot. He manages to slash at her boot as she kicks him, but stumbles back as well.

Xena draws her chakram and throws it. Meanwhile the First (shoved) soldier recovers, and aims a blow at the back of Xena's neck. She parries automatically without looking or turning, but her injured foot betrays her. Pain/surprise on her face as the blow lands high on her back across the shoulders, and she starts to stagger (or maybe fall) forward, then

Shock cut to
--A shaky view (handheld camera) from a galloping horse's back, looking between its ears at Gabrielle and Leader. A pair of small brown hands are holding the horse's reins. Gabrielle is trying, too late, to dodge or run, and Leader is starting his downswing. The footsoldier has recovered his sword and is raising it also.

Shock cut to
--A view along the path of the chakram as it flies toward where Leader's sword arm is about to be. Suddenly Leader's war stallion shies and rears as a small woman with white hair gallops up on a farmer's mare. Leader falls backwards out of his saddle, his sword flying out of his hand. Barely slowing, but clearly straining with the effort, the woman snatches Gabrielle up and away from the footsoldier's blow and drapes her over the mare's neck. All in an instant.

SLOW MOTION. The camera slows down, so that the chakram gets ahead of the camera. The woman looks up, sees that the chakram is now about to hit Gabrielle, leaps out of the saddle toward it. Both hands reach out, and she claps the chakram between them. But it's still spinning between her palms and still trav eling toward her as she brings her hands in toward her body, finally curling around the weapon in a fetal pose. All this in mid-air and *fast*, despite the slow motion. Like catching a thrown shot-put.

--(still the same cut) The camera turns with the woman as she finishes her leap and lands. The camera ends up behind the woman, both she and the camera facing back towards Xena. Both woman (fg) and Xena (bg) are in focus.

NORMAL SPEED. The woman lands on her feet, knees bent in a crouch, hands slightly out from her sides for balance. Her palms are slightly bleeding. The chakram is dangling from one wrist like a huge oversized bracelet. She lands, and the footsoldier's s wing, originally aimed at Gabrielle's neck, passes over her head (as stated, this should all be *very* fast).

[Foley: Departing hoofbeats as the mare doesn't stop. Ad-lib shouts to "slow down, horse!" from Gabrielle.]

The woman seems to completely ignore the soldier. Her toes are next to Gabrielle's staff. She lifts the staff with one foot, then stomps on the lifted end with the other foot. The far end of the staff leaps up and, hitting the soldier in the groin on the way, smacks into the woman's free hand; she's now holding it like a walking stick. The soldier, BTW, is now down for the count.

During all this, in the background, Xena is hit and falls on her hands and knees.

Now we
--Zoom close in on Xena on her hands and knees. We can't see how badly her back is injured, but she is bleeding. First Soldier kicks her right arm out from under her (her sword slides out of reach). Second Soldier kicks her injured left leg, and Xena flops to the ground. Sunlight glints off something metal in Xena's hand, but the soldiers have started to swing their swords already.

Shock cut to
--The woman, with Leader back on his feet coming up behind her with a stiletto in his hand. She's not sure how to hold or throw the chakram, but is about to try anyway to help Xena when he grabs her by the shoulder and stabs her in the small of the back.

Shock cut to
--SLOW MOTION closeup of First Soldier as he swings his sword at Xena again. This man has a kind face. He's just following orders. It's too late to stop, but he's disgusted with himself. This isn't a fair fight. He closes his eyes as he swings his sword, unwilling to see what he is doing.

[Grahms: "the bad guys are winning" music STOPS DEAD]
[Foley: multiple simultaneous whooshes (of swords and ?). Then, simultaneously, "uhh!" from Xena; a dull clang; and a heavy, nasty, wet thunk]

Cut to
--The woman and Leader. Annoyance more than agony on her face, she reaches around behind her with one hand and grabs his right wrist, but apart from that seems to ignore him as she spins in place like a ballerina, turning completely around and then making another part turn before walking away, disinterested. Leader's eyes bug in shock, he falls to his knees holding his wrist, which is twisted sideways at an acute angle to his wrist, obviously _very_ broken.

Cut to
--Closeup of Xena on the ground, blood from the gash under her eye covering her face (really nasty looking), eyes open and staring, she looks dead.

--Pull back to reveal Second Soldier lying across her back and neck, the base of the leatherworking needle sticking out from between his eyes. His sword hand has a distinctive white-fletched arrow sticking through it. First Soldier is trying to yank his sword out of the corpse. Xena (stunned) groans, getting breath back in her body.

Xena can't manage to get Second Soldier off of her, but she pushes herself up a little with one arm. She moves whatever muscle she moves to set off the spring in the sheath of her bodice dagger, and it flies from that dangerous cleavage into her waiting hand.

Cut to:
--Closeup of First Soldier. Trapped in a nightmare he can't escape or stop, he jerks his sword loose, kicks his dead teammate off of Xena and swings for the second time. Horrified, but determined: he loved his partner. No way he's going to miss. Another arrow sprouts from his sword hand as he swings. The sword flies off somewhere. A split second later, the bodice dagger appears in his throat. He falls forward, out of view.

[Foley: Xena gets the breath knocked out of her again.]

Shift focus to:
--A tree in the background with a high branch perfect for an archer. The branches sway as someone unseen climbs down.

[Note: we're back to full cinematography. Relax. This has a happy ending, I promise. :} ]

Leisurely cut to:

11. Leader alone on the battlefield.

[Foley: Hoofbeats departing]

Leader is sitting on the ground, nursing his wrist, glaring resentfully in the direction of the departing hoofbeats. His horse's saddle and bridle lie in the dirt beside him. Xena approaches, sword in hand. She looks *AWFUL*. Lots of blood, it takes us a moment to realize that most of it belongs to Second Soldier. But she is still bleeding a little from the cut under her eye, there is fresh blood tracking around her sides from her back (we don't see her back), and there is a gash in the leather of her left boot. She's limping heavily.

Then Xena gets closer, and, despite obvious pain, she grabs Leader before he can run and favors him with one of her expressions of utter contempt. We stop worrying about her.

Xena (words of steel, backed by steel) Where's my friend?

Leader seems too preoccupied with his wrist to really pay attention to Xena's sword at his throat.

Leader (whine, complain) How should I know? She galloped up, broke my wrist, stole my horse, and galloped off.

At the word "Horse," Xena looks up, around, whistles.

[Foley: Argo neighs, approaching hoofbeats. There's something wrong with the hoofbeats]

Suddenly Xena's expression turns completely murderous.

[Intercut: Argo approaching. Argo can't manage it, but is doing her best to trot up to her mistress using only three legs. Her hip is bleeding.]

Xena lifts Leader to his feet, sword at his throat. She's about to kill him. She pauses, her face changes the slightest bit, and she sheathes her sword.

Xena (calm) Looks like you've hurt your wrist. Let me see what I can do about that.

She takes his broken wrist in both hands and *twists* it (his eyes roll up and he faints).

Xena tries to lead Argo away, but after a few limping steps she crawls reluctantly and apologetically into the saddle.

Xena Sorry girl, but we need to get away from here.

As nothing else has in this scene, the way Xena gets up on her horse shows just how profoundly she is hurting. Slumped in the saddle, Xena slowly coaxes Argo away toward the nearby trees.

Camera pans down to Leader on the ground, and closes on his wrist. Now it's bent at an acute angle in the opposite direction, and if possible looks even worse than before.

Xena (off screen) (calling out) Guess they'll just have to call you Lefty.

Fade to black, then fade up on:

12. Funeral (late afternoon, somewhere in the big meadow).

[Grahms: if anything, something military, pompous, and funereal, yet reminiscent of the "medal awarding" ceremony at the end of the original Star Wars film.]

12a. Establishing wide-angle panoramic view.

A raised dirt platform in the foreground, with the funeral biers of First and Second Soldier lying on it to the left and right. In the center of the platform stands Leader, his back to the camera. In the middle ground, standing at attention in ranks, Leader's troops, half to the left, half to the right, an empty avenue down the middle. The group that was training earlier was only a part of this force. The troops stand in ten ranks of ten each to both left and right (200 in all)... but even from a low vantage, it's clear that this number is more a wished-for goal than a reality. Beyond the troops, the army camp, tents arrayed in rows, half to the left, half to the right, with the same avenue down the middle. Beyond it, the meadow, going downhill, and far away, hazy on the horizon, a city on the coast. Banners on poles are barely visible to the extreme left and right of the platform. Two soldiers march down the avenue between the troops, carrying torches.

It is all very impressive, but the effect is ruined by a slight unevenness of all the straight lines. The avenue between the troops is just off from the avenue between the tents. The leader is not quite exactly in the center between the pyres, and platform is not quite exactly centered on the screen. The troops are not standing in exactly even ranks: teams of 2 to 4, wearing the same color armbands, tend to bunch together, and stay slightly apart from their fellows with different armband colors. They don't quite know how to stand at attention: some have their arms draped around a teammate's shoulder, some are chatting.

Leader (deep, impressive public speaking voice) My friends,

Camera begins ascending slowly straight up.

Leader (continuing) (softly) We will miss our fallen comrades. (louder) We will avenge their deaths. (shouting) Their ashes *will* rest in the skulls of the those who killed them! (building up to an incoherent scream) Tonight we will hunt down these sneak- attacking cowards, tomorrow we will catch them, and by the equinox they will beg us for death! (coming down) The teams that bring back the tall dark woman and the small white haired women will have five extra shares in gold! (dramatic pause, with murmuring from the troops -- this has their attention, clearly. then softly again) But we should not dwell on such things as we mourn our dead fellows. (nearly whispering) Instead, think of this:

Raises his hands, one a fist, the other a splinted bandage.

12b. Meet the troops.

Camera is now a couple meters over Leader's head. From this vantage, the troops, the platform, and the entire camp look like a small thing desperately trying to look like a big thing, and failing. It is now clear that the back ranks of troops are filled with gaps -- and that is even after rounding them out with various noncombatant camp-followers, not to mention a few chariots and horses standing in for several people. At the very most, there are 100 soldiers here.

As Leader raises his arms, cut to a closer view of the ranks of troops on the right. Between each of the next words, cut again to a yet closer view (3 cuts in all) ending with a closeup of Lieutenant, his ribs bandaged, front row, standing next to the central aisle, stiffly at attention (no slacker he).

Leader (continuing off screen) (shouting) We -- are -- ready!

Lieutenant is overjoyed. He cheers, a true hard-core fanatic.

During the following speech, the camera smoothly moves down the front rank of troops. Soldier after soldier, but before the effect can build properly, the line ends, and the camera has to cut to the beginning of the second rank and start over again. Most are cheering pro forma -- only a few, like Lieutenant, are putting their hearts into it. Again, they group in teams, usually of 2, but sometimes 4 (a sort of double dating thing) or (more rarely) three. Bandages mark those who were in the fight earlier. About one in ten are women. The women soldiers are (self?) segregated in all-female teams, mostly trios. While the men stand close, embrace, kiss, and slap each other on the back in celebration, the women have the self-conscious air of people who know that no matter what the official policy may be, they are on perpetual probation because of who they are. Their cheering is louder but less demonstrative, their affection for teammates is more covert and asexual. They tend not to touch.

Leader (continuing off screen) This was not a defeat. (pause, then, shouting) It was a victory! (building up) Despite the odds against us, despite this cowardly sneak attack against our unreadiest and poorest group of warriors, *despite* all this, (pause, then, screaming) we had them beaten! (calmer) We would be burying them today, if not for their resort to sniping at us from the trees! If our rawest recruits, in such a bad situation, if *they* did so well, (pause, then louder) then how well will we all do, in the best situation, against the foes whose inferiorities we know and have studied?

Cut to:

12c Leader holding out his arms as if to give something.

Leader (continuing) My friends, I give you

Cut to:

12d Every man's dream.

A view of a single soldier in the ranks for the first word that follows. Between each of the following words, cut to a shot of a different soldier in the ranks, a series of male soldiers, each hearing the thing he joined up for, ending (after the word "servants") with a female soldier.

Leader (continuing off screen) Vengeance! Tribute! Fame! Status! Land! Property! Wealth! Power! Servants! Wom. . . (falters, recovers) Bedmates!

The woman soldier shoots a wry glance at her teammates.

Cut to:

12e Looking up at the platform (Reverse angle from 12a.)

The torchbearers have mounted the platform. They do a simultaneous face-right/ face-left, approach their respective pyres, and light them both simultaneously. Their timing is just slightly off, again spoiling the effect.

The leader points to the coast and the city there.

Leader (continuing) On the equinox, during the festival, when the degenerates are drunk, we take the city from them and make it ours!

*Lots* of cheering from the troops as they raise both fists in salute. Really heartfelt this time: this is what they've been waiting weeks (months? years?) to hear. Camera begins moving slowly past the rows of troops up to the platform. Leader walks off the platform toward the approaching camera, so we end with a closeup of his face as he listens to the cheers. This, the power-rush of being adored, is what he lives for. Then he glances at his crippled wrist.

Leader (continuing) (fierce, to himself) I'll kill both of them myself.

Slow dissolve to:

13. Tiny cottage at the edge of the meadow. Afternoon.

A hut built of sod, with grass and spring wildflowers growing from the walls and roof, huddled at the base of a small rocky tree-covered rise at the edge of another part of the meadow. Leader's face (from the previous shot) looms over the hut like a menacing ghost before fading away.

A graying, aging woman and her adolescent (grand?) daughter are feeding Leader's stallion and the mare that carried off Gabrielle. Strings of herbs are hanging just inside the hut. The old woman's hands and arms have fading blue tattoos of snakes; a charm hangs from a thong around her neck. She's a typical black-haired Greek; the girl's hair is covered. Their clothes are neat but poor.

Cut to:

14. Reverse angle, looking away from the hut.

Three soldiers appear from nowhere and surround them. The child starts to run inside, but a fourth soldier jumps down from the roof of the hut, blocking the doorway. The soldiers are Anglo-saxon types, except for #3, who is Maori or perhaps Black.

Soldier #1 (bad cop) Where'd you get this stallion?

Soldier #2 (good cop) Tell us where the white haired witch is and you won't get hurt.

[Intercut: closeup of the old woman's face as her eyes briefly go wide.]

Herbwoman (unnaturally calm, a noticeable backcountry accent) I see your leader hurt his wrist.

#1 and #2 are startled, perhaps frightened. Soldier #3 (guarding the door) is undoubtably scared. How does she know this? #4, unconcerned, moves to grab the girl's shawl.

Soldier #4 Maybe this is her. (leer) Let's see your hair, honey. Hey!

This last as the herbwoman grabs his wrist before he can touch the daughter, who darts past #3 and vanishes inside.

Herbwoman Keep your hands to yourself!

The daughter tosses out a single-edged paring knife from inside the hut, and the herbwoman catches it and threatens #4. The others reach for their swords, reluctantly.

Soldier #3 (Nervously, to #4) Come on, bunkmate, lay off. (licks his lips) Hecate. . .

Cut to:

15. Telephoto view looking toward the hut from up a tree.

Something unfocused in the foreground partly obscures the camera's view. #4 wrestles with the woman. She kicks him in the groin, pins him to the ground, and holds the knife to his throat. #3 half-draws his sword, the out of focus thing momentarily blocks the view, and a white fletched arrow hits #3's wrist and pins his bracer against the sod wall of the hut. #3 has his back to the door, and there is movement behind him as he stiffens, afraid, and tries to arch his back away from something sharp. The girl looses an uncanny SCREAM from the hut, and it's too much, 1 and 2 run for it, toward the camera.

Pull focus back fast to reveal an *extreme* closeup of a quivering bowstring.

The camera and the string raise up, then drop toward the ground. In midair,

Cut to:

16. Looking into the forest, under a large tree.

Soldiers 1 and 2 run away past the camera. A redheaded woman with a Welsh longbow drops from the tree, holding her bow horizontally at throat level. The soldiers run smack into it headlong, their feet and bodies fly forward but their chins are held back by the bow. They are out cold.

[Foley: two pairs of teeth snapping, hard]

Archer (heavy Irish/Icelandic accent) Oh, dear, terribly sorry. My mistake.

Cut to:

17. Outside the hut.

The archer sits on the conscious but gagged and quite tied up soldier 4, holding a bowl and spoon. This is our first good look at her. Nearly as tall as Xena, but more heavily built and generously padded. Like Mae West, except Diamond Lil never had vivid (long, braided) red hair, green eyes, and a zillion freckles. A mature face, noticeable crow's feet, a few gray hairs. She wears simple, travelworn, but still festive blue wool and hemp clothes in the Nordic style -- trousers, a waist-length tunic fastened with a brooch at the throat, and something that was a dress before she cut it short at the waist, fastened with a pair of brooches holding on the shoulder straps. Her boots have traveled a lot further than the clothes. The brooch at her throat is a near lifelike rose of unfamiliar design. The brooches holding up the former dress are in the classical Norse style and mismatched -- one is of Nidhug peacefully entwined about the trunk and lower branches of Yggdrasil, while the other shows Ratatosk eating an ash seed.

Behind the archer, the daughter finishes lashing the other soldiers (stripped down to loincloths, gagged and tied) to the backs of the stallion and mare. The herbwoman sits on a log, watching the archer scrape up a last spoonful, put it in her mouth, and close her eyes to savor the taste. She sets the bowl down, nods her thanks.

Archer Have you seen my friend?

Herbwoman (laconic, mulling each phrase) Not since you borrowed the mare. She wandered back by herself. Knows who feeds her.

She jerks her chin at the stallion.

Herbwoman (continuing) Brought him home with her. We can't feed another horse.

The daughter approaches, leading the horses. The archer stands, then helps the herbwoman up, and ends clasping the herbwoman's hand in both of hers with gratitude.

Archer You see my friend, tell her I've gone fishing.

The herbwoman nods, and helps to lift #4, up to now used as a chair, onto the mare's back, and to balance and lash down the horse's load of two soldiers. The daughter looks on, a mild case of hero worship for the archer. The archer secures the last soldier, shoulders her bow, quiver, and shoulderbag, and begins to lead the horses off.

[Intercut: the daughter's face as her eyes briefly go wide]

Daughter (to the archer) I see you both like to visit the tree.

The archer looks puzzled a moment, then smiles at the daughter and nods her thanks.

Wipe to:

18. Looking down at the forest floor.

At the base of a tree, Xena's chakram and Gabrielle's staff (folded in thirds) are tied together at the end of a strip of red-brown stained blue cloth which ascends up out of sight. The cloth moves as the person holding the top end shifts position.

[Foley: people approaching behind the camera, distant at first, stepping quietly through the forest. Their voices begin faint and get louder through the scene.]

Woman soldier 1 (off screen) Because he doesn't trust us, that's why.

W.S. 2 (o.s.) (arguing with a good friend) There's not much choice, is there. How long do you think my girl and I, or you and Ananke, would last in the Sparta garrison? And freelancing is hungry work.

W.S. 3 (o.s) (trying not to take sides) Well, he's never asked me to do anything but soldier, and Elara never but to cook and clean.

The other two ad-lib agreement. The conversation is pat, rehearsed, rehashing a perennial topic of discussion.

During this, the person above begins to draw up the strip, and the camera begins to slowly move upwards, tracking the weapons as they are pulled up.

W.S. 2 (o.s.) (one pair of footsteps stop) Tracks.

Footsteps resume, and speed up.

W.S. 1 (o.s.) (contemplative) What if she really did go up to the pass and not to the city? What do we do then? (a mantra to convince herself) Five extra shares in gold. . .

Silence except for the three soldiers' faint footsteps.

The camera rises into the tree and comes to rest on the woman who saved Gabrielle earlier. With her legs wrapped around the large branch she sits on for balance, she holds Leader's stiletto between her bare, heavily calloused feet as she draws up the cloth and weapons. This is our first good look at her. She is small and undernourished, and her teeth are crooked, although none seem to be missing. Her features are hard to place -- East Asian for a first approximation, but her skin is much darker than that would suggest, even allowing for many years spent in the sun. Her face is mature but unlined, in striking contrast to her hair, which is straight, lustrous, short-cropped -- and pure white (in this, she looks rather like Maxine Hong Kingston). Her clothes used to be a plain undyed silk tunic and pants, tailored after the Japanese ideal of never wasting a square centimeter of fabric, but that was long ago. Now they seem more a network of patches, some of which were evidently cut from the archer's former dress. A belt pack around her waist holds a few belongings. On a necklace she wears a half dozen trinkets crafted in the same style as the archer's rose brooch, including a sheathed knife, an ankh, a heart, and some other, less instantly recognizable icons.

She takes a threaded needle from her mouth, puts the end of the cloth in her mouth, then reaches down to the wound in her lower back and resumes stitching it shut. She bites down hard on the cloth, and makes some quiet strangled sounds as she finishes stitching. Tears in her eyes. She alternates craning her neck awkwardly to see what her hands are doing down at the small of her back, and glancing to the approaching voices (rather close by now) coming offscreen from behind the camera.

W.S. 2 (o.s.) (regretfully) Blood in the tracks.

W.S. 3 (o.s.) (low, intent) I see something.

[Grahms: a few bars of the Xena main theme, just enough to suggest who they are seeing]

Awkward pause as the footsteps stop. Finished stitching herself up, the woman leaves off from rewrapping the bandage around herself. She whips her head around to look, stares off screen for a moment, then turns back, concerned.

W.S. 1 (o.s.) (after a long pause) It's nothing. A shadow. (to #2) You know, I think you're tracking a deer.

The other two ad lib protests, then abruptly fall silent.

W.S. 1 (o.s.) (contemplative) We all saw how she crawled on the horse afterward, (hesitates) so, if we find her, it won't be too hard to bring her back -- alive. (Pause, then, thoughtful) Five extra shares in gold . . .

W.S. 2 (o.s.) (after a long silence) You're right, I was overeager. These are deer tracks.

W.S. 3 (o.s.) And a shadow. (pause) We still have the forest on the other side of the meadow to search before dark.

A moment of silence, and the footsteps resume, going quickly away. The woman smiles, picks up the chakram and staff, stands, then sags abruptly against the trunk.

W.S. 1 (o.s.) (pat, rehearsed) Days like this I think I'd be better off biting my tongue and pledging to Hippolyte.

W.S. 2 (o.s.) You and I could, but what chance do you think Ananke or Elara would have of being adopted, accepted, even tolerated?

W.S. 3 (o.s.) (faintly heard from far off) I don't care how much better it would be. I am *not* going to wear one of those skimpy outfits with the bird masks.

During this, the woman weakly pulls a few dried leaves from a white silk bag kept in her belt pack and begins to chew on them. After a moment, she seems to feel better and walks slowly along the branch, out of sight.

Wipe to:

20. Gabrielle alone at the dead end of an overgrown path.

Gabrielle What a perfect day. Start by trying to hurt someone who... who loves you, then almost get killed, carried off on a wild horse, fall off the horse and almost have it roll on you, get lost, find the path but it ends, and (deep breath, the last straw) it's almost sunset and Xena still isn't here!

Gabrielle's staff is missing, and the bandage for the old cut on her forehead is long gone, but she otherwise seems well. Beneath the vexation remains an abiding sadness, but with something to complain about, it is much more subdued.

Cut to:

21. The ground at Gabrielle's feet.

Gabrielle's foot toes four stones which are arranged in a pointer, then kicks them apart and she strides off.

Cut to:

22. Gabrielle advancing through the forest.

[Foley: the very faint nicker of a horse.]

Gabrielle (going forward cautiously) Xena?

The camera stays with her as she continues, and Xena becomes audible as she talks to Argo.

Xena (confident, soothing) I know it hurts, girl. Now we tie this, easy, it's all right, good girl. (and so on ad lib).

In the middle of this speech,

Cut to:

23. Closeup of Xena and Argo.

Xena's confidence is only in her voice as she kneels and fastens a poultice wrapped in green cloth to Argo's wound.

Xena (continuing) (soothing, confident) There now, all done. It's all right.

Xena is at the point of tears. She's afraid Argo may need to be put down. She has taken care of the horse first: dried blood still streaks her skin, she has neither cleaned nor bandaged herself.

The camp is in a small clearing next to a brook. There is a fire, and Argo's saddle and saddlebags sit half-unpacked next to it. Movement beyond a shrub in the background as Gabrielle approaches.

Cut to:

24. Gabrielle walking around the shrub.

Xena (off screen, continuing) (telling Argo another lie) Everything's going to be fine.

And Gabrielle sees Xena. Her face loses all color. She staggers, nearly falls before grabbing a branch of the shrub and sagging against it. A deep breath to cry out Xena's name, but the word chokes and dies in her throat.

[Grahms: a sad love song. Soulmates (4), or similar]

Cut to:

25. Looking past Gabrielle at Xena tending Argo.

And we finally see the narrow, shallow, but long cut Xena has across her shoulder and the base of her neck. Messily scabbed over and still bleeding a little where Xena's movements have reopened the wound.

[Intercut a closeup of Xena's back, centered on the *deep* slice into the leather of her sword scabbard -- without it, she could well have been killed.]

Gabrielle recovers enough to stand and starts forward, letting go the bush, which rustles. Xena looks up, turns.

Xena (really happy to see her well, she's been worried) Gabrielle!
(suddenly concerned) What is it?

Cut to:

26. Closeup of Gabrielle from Xena's POV.

Still speechless. Deep breathing turns into shoulder shaking sobs, no tears yet. She reaches out toward Xena.

Cut to:

27. Closeup of Xena's face.

Residual anguish over Argo, and also concern, puzzlement as to what is wrong with Gabrielle. With the dried blood on her face, which has been further streaked by tears at one point, and the untended cut below her eye, she looks really awful. She suddenly realizes what she must look like, and she breaks into one of those wry but reassuring Xena smiles as she reaches out toward Gabrielle.

Xena It's not as bad -- really. I'll be all right. (pause) I'm more worried about Argo. I don't have any poppy flower sap.

Cut to:

28. Gabrielle and Xena in closeup.

Xena reaches out and holds Gabrielle in a reassuring hug. Gabrielle *very* gingerly puts one hand around Xena's neck, and reaches out with her ring hand, which trembles, to touch the cut on Xena's face. Their faces and nearly touching. Gabrielle finds her voice. It's as if her world had lost its center.

Gabrielle (hoarse whisper) But you (swallows), you're hurt.

Finally, tears begin running down her cheeks as we

Fade out.